smile, sweetheart
by paper piper
Summary: the two lovers' attempts to understand each other end in one sad wish: just smile for me. -ken/kao


Kaoru knew she shouldn't sneak up on him like this. She shouldn't be in his room at all. But something, was it curiosity or something more?, drove her to rise from her bed that night, her mind amess with wanting to be near him.

_Here I am_, she thought, standing in front of his door. _Do I have the nerve?_

With a shaking hand, she slid his door open before she could deliberate further. He was not asleep in his futon, but leaning against the wall, his sword leaning against his shoulder. She knew that in the old days he used to sleep this way, just in case an enemy approached. He could awake and him them slashed to pieces before wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Now, looking down at the man she adored, she saw a little more of the boy he'd been at the time. He could not even have peace in his sleep, for the part he played in the world back then. Her heart ached for the remorse he felt over his past. What must it have been like, to be so young, and yet to have been twisted into an executioner? What did Battousai dream about when he slept?

_Did you see their blood?_ She asked him in her head. _Did you have nightmares of deaths you brought about?_

She kneeled before him, drinking in his slumbering state. His red hair spilled over his shoulder, blades of silk, whispering to her to touch. She refrained. His large amethyst eyes were closed, his long curling lashes resting against the top of his cheekbones. Her eyes traveled all over his face, and, guiltily, into the opening of his gi. Oh, he was so beautiful, she could not help but sigh.

And yet, he was a tragedy. Like Romeo and Juliet, he spoke of an imperfect world, where true love seems to only exist in stories and death. In his life, he found nothing but pain. When he smiled, it was fake, more for the purpose of hiding than expressing his feelings.

"I wish you would smile for me, Kenshin." She spoke the words before she could stop herself. He did not stir, for her voice was barely a whisper.

Slowly she tucked herself into a comfortable ball at his feet and closed her eyes for the night, not bothering to think what his reaction would be when he found her here.

* * *

Kenshin woke a few hours later, sweaty and haunted, after a rare nightmare. In it, there had been nothing but blood. The smell, the sight, the feel… it was everywhere. It crawled across his skin, it filled his mouth and nostrils. He was choking on blood.

_Whose?_ He asked his dream.

In a flash, Kaoru was there, lying dead at his feet. Her blood stained her violet kimono, her limbs were barely recognizable for all the stabs and needless tortures. He screeched till he thought his lungs would give out. He was drowning in Kaoru's blood.

Now he was awake, unable to stop his panting. His eyes flicked across the room, scanning the place. He nearly fell to pieces when he found her lying there. Kenshin's eyes could not bear the sight for a moment; he shut them senselessly against his fear. It took him a moment to recollect himself before he could believe that he was not dreaming. Finally, he stopped shaking and the upchuck reflex subsided. He leaned over and listened for her breathing.

A rhythmic, lovely sound met his ears, flowing from her lungs.

Breathing.

He sat back up, vaguely wondering why she was here. He decided to ignore it, just wait till morning. He studied her for a moment. Her midnight hair was tied into a braid, hanging loosely from her head. Her milky white skin showed a little inside her clothes. He blushed and dragged his eyes away, with much effort. Her pink lips were parted a little in her dreaming.

A child who'd grown up in martial arts, Kaoru was too strong to put up with nonsense. She'd accepted him with a pure heart, welcoming this ex-assassin into her home lovingly. She had a girlish radiance that deeply shook his chained heart and threatened to release him.

Heck, she'd already released him.

Her smile, so beautiful, so bright, like sunshine falling on his face, had reminded him of the world's promise. She firmly believed that all people were good, and perhaps this was what had brought him to the breaking point. He'd come without a home, without a soul, without a want. Now he was loved, whole, and yearning for a woman he always knew he'd love in return.

"Thank you, for smiling for me, Kaoru," he whispered into the darkness.

He leaned down and gently lifted her up, carried her across the room, and folded her into the sheets of his futon. In order to keep some measure of self control, he laid over the top most sheets to separate them. He wrapped an arm around her slim shoulders, and, much to his surprise, he felt her snuggle closer to him in her sleep. He smiled softly and settled himself into sleep.


End file.
